The Little Things

While contemplating my future (my job, my daughter's homework, dinner for tonight) I realized that one of the reasons why I want to disappear into my bed under the covers, is that I have NO coping mechanism.  I don't horse ride (only because I don't have a horse) and I hate exercising so its not like I could go for a run (and please don't comment that I could...because I COULDN'T...take my word on that).  I don't knit.  I don't box.  I don't write angry poetry (and you wouldn't want to read it even if I did.)  All I have is this blog.  It seems a bit lonely as its like I'm talking to empty space....but I need an outlet.  (other than randomly buying gaudy purses that I use for a few weeks.)

I'm working at a place that is falling apart at the seams (NAME THE 70's SONG).  Three resignations, one position eliminated and other co-workers who plan to move on.  In a business/office situation this may be everyday shit...but in this profession....it can make or break an occupation.  I'm in this limbo around my job as well (long story but the person who I replaced is being reinstated after almost 2 years)....and the people who are leaving were part of a support system I had in place.  I finally had started to feel like I was progressing in my profession.  So what do I want to do?  I want to plead and beg.  I definitely want to cry.  I want to eat everything in site.  I want to get away.  I want to sleep.  I'm drowning in my own goddamn misery.

So here I am...writing on this blog and hoping that someone reads this and can give me words of wisdom.  I don't want the freakin chin up buttercup or "things could be worse" talk....you will receive a kick in the teeth if you do that.  What I want is hardcore advice.  Whether its on what I can do to unleash this unhappy demon inside of me.....or something a bit more reasonable....I'm searching for that silver lining.  I'm looking for goddamn Vitamin D. 

One of my friends told me I should include a video blog on this.  and I just may do that.